Negative Childhood Conditioning
This is all the negative BS you were told as a child by parents, teachers and peers. Things like 'You're not good enough to play on that team, you'll never amount to anything, you're lazy, dumb, fat etc.
When this happens often enough, or you get bullied, very soon your child-like mind takes on these beliefs and make it your reality. Soon enough you honestly believe that you simply aren't good enough, that you're different to the people you admire or that what you really desire in life- be it a loving family environment, to be on the same financial level as your friends and to be accepted or loved unconditionally simply isn't available to you.
Soon, believing that certain opportunities are just not meant for you, you stop trying and switch from thriving into surviving mode.
Painful Life Experiences
Everyone, at some point in their life will experience the loss of a loved one, physical life-threatening danger, the ending of a relationship or some sort of abuse, whether it be physical, sexual or psychological, like being gaslit by narcissists.
When we are in shock and experience fear, grief, shame and anger we often don't have the time, skills and mental space to process these events properly, so the emotional wounds stay with us, turning into emotional baggage and we go through life constantly being triggered and led by negative emotions. Our emotions drive our behaviour like binge-eating, procrastination, addiction and self-sabotage.
The Inability to Take Action
We all KNOW what we're supposed to do to lead successful lives.
The gurus have been talking about things like morning routines, boundaries and self-care for decades, however when we are constantly waging a war with our own mind, we simply cannot take the appropriate action all the time.
Instead we self-sabotage with procrastination, perfectionism and harmful self-soothing behaviours like binge-eating, alcohol, drugs, gambling etc. to distract ourselves, thereby becoming our OWN biggest obstacle!